Money Guilt

This is a new thing for me. I have never experienced this except in this relationship. Last week we went to canada. To visit my family who have not seen our new baby yet. When I originally planned it we got into a huge fight. I was

"Taking time away from our son because I was selfish." The trip should wait a  few years.

This is unacceptable to me. Especially because we took trips to see his aunt in Wisconsin that cost more $$ than this trip. This is my father, and my sister, our sons only great grandmother.

He accused me of being selfish. Of not caring about my baby.

now my father paid for our plane tickets, our hotel, our cabin for 7 nights, and all of our food and half of our gas. We spent about $600 on the rental car and our drive back to the airport plus some food that he just had to have.

While there it was a fiasco. I never heard him thank my father for his generosity. My dad spent over $2000 for our trip. Now my father grows medicinaly marijuana  for himself and a few terminally ill people. His house does smell a little like it. Not too bad its just a plant and is all organic. We went on this trip knowing this. We visited my dad for the first 4 days without any issues. It was wonderful to see my son with his canada family.  Well the fifth day I accidentelly stepped on my boyfriends foot. He got really ad and declared that me and my sone were not allowed to go to my dads anymore to visit because it smelled like marijuana. Then he obsessivly smelled everything from then on to prove his point. My dad visited us thank god and if he had this reservation we would have stayed somewhere else and my dad could have planned to stay with us there. He had no issues until that moment.

He was rude and condescending. He also of course never helped me which sucked the last four days because i didn't have my family to help me since I could not go to where they were and everyone but my dad was so offended by his behavior they would not visit us.

Also he told my son "You are so fucking annoying" when he bit him. Hes getting teeth and likes to bite your shirt. I would say one out of 50 times he gets your skin a little. Hes a teething baby. And has been doing really good. Then we fought about that which I think also added to my not being able to visit my dad. He is so controlling.

So fast forward we are home now. He has not been at work for 10 days. He does not help me pack or anything before durring or after the trip. He is constantly on me about $$ which is stupid because he has no idea how much $$ he has. He has no idea his car payment or anything. So yesterday hes at work and realized he is behind on some sales numbers. So decides he needs to spend $400 to help fix it. Today he still behind and is going to spend $700..... But I am selfish for wanting to see my family. He sold a few of the items that I used to make a little enclosure for our son to safely play in to help pay for it. Its still $900 and now I don't have anywhere to put my son so I can work or do dishes.

I brought up to him that I want to go to school and he told me no. because I need to go back to work  until he pays off the rest of his debt. But if i talk about my debt he either ignores me or tells me one thing at a time.