boyfriend parenting tip number 3498

Babies don't die from crying. So let the baby cry for two hours so you can sleep because if you don't get enough sleep you might make a mistake... (insert silent insinuation here)

What?

How much sex do you have? I am too busy to catch up. When he complains he needs it because he went so long without  when I was on bed rest I remind him of all the blow jobs in the hospital and at home at least 5 times a week. Guess what!?! They dont count. Guess why!?! Because he had to stand because I wasn't allowed out of bed. He said he was kidding but he has said it three more times as a defense when I say no. He must really think it.

MIL

My SOs mother is a nice woman don't get me wrong. But the she does these crazy things and I don't know what to think. When I had the baby we all agreed that just me and him in the room, I have lost two babies at 18 weeks and delivery is such a personal scary and intense moment for me I didnt want anyone else there. When we lost my daughter people were in the room and I did not want to go that route again. After he was born she came in super fast. She made it sound like she walked by and heard him cry and came in. When we asked her to tell everyone so they could come in she refused and obsessivly took pictures of his umbilical chord. We had to send a nurse. I found out later from my mom that she was  recording his birth on her phone outside the door. now labor for me is very personal I felt super violated not to mention she was showing everyone the reccording as prrof that she got to be there when no one else was allowed. She also kept trying to help be breastfeed and kept upsetting the baby. How the ef can someone help you? She was literally grabbing my bood and trying to push the baby into it.  I had to ask her to leave multiple times and the nurse had to make her leave a few times because she would not listen.

 So then Her husband and her come and visit for the first week. Where she literally holds him like a rag doll she's got him on her knee on his tummy sitting by himself on the couch falling over I was constantly getting him from her. So then her husband makes a video of his first week and sends it to their whole family. When i was in labor they came in the room for maybe an hour. I thought her husband was taking photos nope the first part of the video is me breathing through contractions. I look terrible and i again felt super violated because he shared it with everyone. So i guess I'm just really upset still this might be my only birthing experience and all i can remember is these things. So my SO confronted her about a couple of them she falls to the floor sobbing. Then blames my mom for talking a lot in the waiting room. That's why she was lurking out there and if it wasnt for her we would not have any phtots of the lojack on his chord. There's 6 separate waiting rooms in that hospital. Then later tells me she's super mad at my SO because how dare he say what he said to her, so he told me to just leave it be. Apparently the crying freak outs were how she was his whole life its the end of any issue because they don't want to upset her.

Also i decided to cloth diaper when i was on bedrest in the hospital. I made it clear to not buy disposable because i didn't want us to be tempted. While baby was in the nicu they used disposable and he got the worst diaper rash. His dad has super super sensitive skin. So we get home and his parents are there. I go to put my coat away and in the top of the coat closet is a 250 pack of generic diapers. They bought them And stashed them there.i don't know why . i made them take them back which she was mad about.

So fast foreward to my birthday we drove up to see them. I was doing great trying not to be bitter about the labor. Birthdays are not a big deal to us so i didn't care. My SO and my son are allergic to fragrance and pollen dust mold and so on. When i get in there she has put 5 mini rose plants for my birthday in every room we use, the bathroom the bedroom everywhere. I brought bedding for the baby because he's allergic to the scent in their fabric softener. She is also allergic to all of these things she just takes a bunch of meds. So first they are mad that I switch the babies bedding cause this smells like a spring breeze. The baby was cluster feeding that weekend so every hour even though the night. At one point im exhausted so I  leave my SO with the baby. I should tell you now we do not cry it out he is a baby and i get him when he cries I tell them to come and get me when he's hungry or cries. So I expect to wake up in and hour I wake up and my SO is next to me he decided to take a nap as well. So I look at the clock and it has been three hours. My baby should have eaten 2 times and has at least 2 diaper changes. So I get up and I can hear him crying muffled. So I go to the other side of the house and she has him in her room with the door shut so I wouldn't hear him. I asked her why the hell didn't she get me she said because I was sleeping. I go to grab him he's naked from the waste down. I asked her again what happened. 2 hours before that he pooed and she didn't want to wake me to get a diaper. So she had been wrapping him in towels ...the towels that she uses her fabric softener on. 6 of them so far. So I change the baby and nurse him I ask her how long he was crying. She said 30 minutes which is the longest he has ever cried. Then she goes on to tell me that the first time he cried he gave up after 40 minutes. Poor guy was starving and had a dirty diaper and she just let him cry. He got a bad rash on his lower body from her toels and wouldn't let me put him down the rest of the day when we got home. He held my hand the whole car ride and sniffle home.

I am secretly super upset still over these events. My boyfriend thinks I am being ridiculous. I just know that his parents can never be alone with the baby ever.

Mob mentality.

I recently spent a fun but exhausting 10 days with my boyfriend and his aunt. My boyfriend does not help me at all. I change all diapers, all clothes, I am the only one to wake up with the baby in the night, I am the only one to bathe him. Aside from maybe 30 minutes of holding him every other day and only if hes not fussy or wiggly my boyfriend is pretty uninvolved. Well though uninvovled he has decided that he is a baby expert and is constantly harassing my about how or what I am doing to the baby. I ignore him for the most part because if I said anything it would be a magical waterfall of never ending freakout that would last for at least three days of me screaming about all of the things he does and doesn't do that bug the crap out of me. Well this trip every weird crazy thing he decided was a baby fact all of a sudden was also picked up by his aunt and they became chickens pecking me to death with weird made up baby facts and misinformation. My boyfriend decided wind was the root cause of ear infections. For ten days I heard constantly from his aunt the second we went outside. " Oh no I hope the wind doesn't give him an ear infection." Then affirmed by my expert baby daddy. Also the cold causes a cold.... sure it can cause the cold in the air is made up of viruses. Now mix this idea with an elderly woman and a man who has smoked for 20 years and add their terrible circulation and pretty much my baby and me sweated to death the entire time because all of my pleas to turn the heat down's were ignored by the freezing people. All while being attacked with "Isn't he cold?" "He needs a jacket hes going to get sick."  " I sure hope he doesn't get sick because you took his pants off." My poor kid was sweating through his onsies. I kept haveing to pretend I wanted to sit outside on the patio to try and cool him off which then brought on the " Nooooooo not outside! Wind! Ear infections! Cold! Sick!" Well the best part? Baby is so hot guess what happens? "He's got a fever!!!!" Guess who has to take his teperature constatly? Oh yes me. He never has a fever, at one point hes got a 99.1 temperature. But guess what fixed it? Yep stripping him down to his diaper. Then lets add my boyfriends concern that the baby sleeping by me will kill him from sids. Its called crib death for a reason. And he doesn't sleep by me all night. I usually grab the baby at the end of the night at his 6 am wakeup and let him hang out by me until he falls asleep. We get up at 7 when dad wakes up anyways. But he doesn't listen to me explain this because hes the expert and efing sleeps through the night and never gets up for the baby. Well while on vacation in a weird place I let the baby sleep by me a lot more. Because the bed she had was well a sheet on cardboard and I didn't want to wake up ever 45 minutes like I did the first two nights I put him in there. This brought on constant talk of him, first never sleeping in his own bed and always sleeping with us until hes 5, then to him not even surviving that long because of sids.  Constant chatter from the baby expert and affirmation from his aunt. Now I got no sleep pretty much the whole vacation. Our bed is in the living room whenever me and the baby try to nap guess what happens? ITS TV TIME! They literally sit 5 feet from me and the kid chatting talking laughing and watching loud tv. So what happens? Baby wakes up.  But guess why hes up? Because he can't sleep in his own bed because I always let him sleep with me. I was so glad to leave.

Leave my kid alone.... You boarderline baby Pedophile.

I recently went on a 10 day trip to see my boyfriends family. That I will complain about more later. But after a 5 hour flight I am in the gross bathroom changing my hungry overtired 4 month old son. He is naked and I am trying to get him changed when a strange lady comes over and gets in his face. Before I can tell her to back the ef off of my naked baby, he starts screaming his head off.  What the hell is wrong with people??? I don't open stall doors to watch you pee! Why the hell would you get in our space when I'm changing his diaper. Plus you just made the 2 minutes I had left a 10 minute ordeal of screaming crying and poop everywhere fiasco because you don't have boundaries. Next time I'm going to grab the diaper and squish your (much to close) face in it. When did it become ok to get so close to other peoples babies????