Parenting Tip Number B49395544

We have to use letters now because there are no more numbers. My hair is now a choking hazard that is going to kill my son while he is asleep if he sleeps by me. Even though I always wear my hair up. Somehow it is going to get in his throat.

My son sleeps in his bed except for when he nurses. And in the am when I want one more hour of sleep but I Sleep at the foot off the bed and him in the middle. My BF doesn't beleive me though because he wakes up sometimes when I'm nursing him so he thinks hes always in the bed. Even if he did. I have never heard of a baby choking on hair.

crawfish

We recently went to the Chinese market and bought fish. My boyfriend thought it would be fun to buy some crawfish too so he bought 4. While making dinner dinner forgot about them. They somehow survived the night (well three did). He decided to put them in a bowl of water and give them meat. Three days go by. I change the water and so on. I finally get fed up and tell him to throw them out. I first have to explain why its a bad idea to flush three crawfish down the toilette. He finally throws them away but leaves the bowl and the counter alone and tells me. " the counter is off limits until you bleach it." what??? Its his stupid fish. I tell him to do it. He ignores me.... Twice. So I don't have bleach so I use ammonia and then soapy water then hot water.  Which is not good enough. So I set a package of bread on the counter which triggers attacks from him about how gross I am. How could I put bread on there (in the package) . So after this the counter is off limits for 2 days before I get bleach.

Baby has a cough.

My son has a cough. It started mild and is getting a little worse. I figured its from allergies since his eyes also water and he sneezes. It also could be from his grandma who also has a cough.

Guess where my boyfriend decided he has gotten it from. First reason is I don't dust enough. The second reason is I nurse the baby laying down.

Again. My fault.

What are you talking about?

We recently went to visit my boyfriends parents. I felt bad that we pushed it because his mother did not seem to feel well. Well at the end of the night when we are driving home he proceeds to tell me that I did not let his parents hold the baby enough... His mother is still recovering from rotator cuff surgery. She took a three hour nap and was so sick from her meds and cried out in pain when she tried to get out of bed. His dad held the baby a lot but my boyfriend was not in the room when that happened he was playing on the computer.  How much more should I have let them hold him??? This started a cascade of how much I suck again. Concluding with the fact that when I make him dinner EVERY EFING NIGHT I don't close the silverware drawer. Needless to say I was livid. I got us all ready to go, even getting his clothes ready. I packed all of the the babies stuff. Changed every diaper, changed every outfit, held him when he cried. He didn't do anything.

The night before out of desperation I asked him if he could help me clean the house up. He had taken a half day at work. He took all the dirty dishes and piled them in a pile. Too bad at the top of the pile he put a whole pan of oil from when I fried some meat earlier and it soaked all of the dishes in oil. Making me having to do the dishes a million times harder, He then went to bed and left me to do everything again.

I slept on the couch. How can he always find ways that I suck after I work so hard to do everything for him????

boyfriend parenting tip number 3498

Babies don't die from crying. So let the baby cry for two hours so you can sleep because if you don't get enough sleep you might make a mistake... (insert silent insinuation here)

What?

How much sex do you have? I am too busy to catch up. When he complains he needs it because he went so long without  when I was on bed rest I remind him of all the blow jobs in the hospital and at home at least 5 times a week. Guess what!?! They dont count. Guess why!?! Because he had to stand because I wasn't allowed out of bed. He said he was kidding but he has said it three more times as a defense when I say no. He must really think it.

MIL

My SOs mother is a nice woman don't get me wrong. But the she does these crazy things and I don't know what to think. When I had the baby we all agreed that just me and him in the room, I have lost two babies at 18 weeks and delivery is such a personal scary and intense moment for me I didnt want anyone else there. When we lost my daughter people were in the room and I did not want to go that route again. After he was born she came in super fast. She made it sound like she walked by and heard him cry and came in. When we asked her to tell everyone so they could come in she refused and obsessivly took pictures of his umbilical chord. We had to send a nurse. I found out later from my mom that she was  recording his birth on her phone outside the door. now labor for me is very personal I felt super violated not to mention she was showing everyone the reccording as prrof that she got to be there when no one else was allowed. She also kept trying to help be breastfeed and kept upsetting the baby. How the ef can someone help you? She was literally grabbing my bood and trying to push the baby into it.  I had to ask her to leave multiple times and the nurse had to make her leave a few times because she would not listen.

 So then Her husband and her come and visit for the first week. Where she literally holds him like a rag doll she's got him on her knee on his tummy sitting by himself on the couch falling over I was constantly getting him from her. So then her husband makes a video of his first week and sends it to their whole family. When i was in labor they came in the room for maybe an hour. I thought her husband was taking photos nope the first part of the video is me breathing through contractions. I look terrible and i again felt super violated because he shared it with everyone. So i guess I'm just really upset still this might be my only birthing experience and all i can remember is these things. So my SO confronted her about a couple of them she falls to the floor sobbing. Then blames my mom for talking a lot in the waiting room. That's why she was lurking out there and if it wasnt for her we would not have any phtots of the lojack on his chord. There's 6 separate waiting rooms in that hospital. Then later tells me she's super mad at my SO because how dare he say what he said to her, so he told me to just leave it be. Apparently the crying freak outs were how she was his whole life its the end of any issue because they don't want to upset her.

Also i decided to cloth diaper when i was on bedrest in the hospital. I made it clear to not buy disposable because i didn't want us to be tempted. While baby was in the nicu they used disposable and he got the worst diaper rash. His dad has super super sensitive skin. So we get home and his parents are there. I go to put my coat away and in the top of the coat closet is a 250 pack of generic diapers. They bought them And stashed them there.i don't know why . i made them take them back which she was mad about.

So fast foreward to my birthday we drove up to see them. I was doing great trying not to be bitter about the labor. Birthdays are not a big deal to us so i didn't care. My SO and my son are allergic to fragrance and pollen dust mold and so on. When i get in there she has put 5 mini rose plants for my birthday in every room we use, the bathroom the bedroom everywhere. I brought bedding for the baby because he's allergic to the scent in their fabric softener. She is also allergic to all of these things she just takes a bunch of meds. So first they are mad that I switch the babies bedding cause this smells like a spring breeze. The baby was cluster feeding that weekend so every hour even though the night. At one point im exhausted so I  leave my SO with the baby. I should tell you now we do not cry it out he is a baby and i get him when he cries I tell them to come and get me when he's hungry or cries. So I expect to wake up in and hour I wake up and my SO is next to me he decided to take a nap as well. So I look at the clock and it has been three hours. My baby should have eaten 2 times and has at least 2 diaper changes. So I get up and I can hear him crying muffled. So I go to the other side of the house and she has him in her room with the door shut so I wouldn't hear him. I asked her why the hell didn't she get me she said because I was sleeping. I go to grab him he's naked from the waste down. I asked her again what happened. 2 hours before that he pooed and she didn't want to wake me to get a diaper. So she had been wrapping him in towels ...the towels that she uses her fabric softener on. 6 of them so far. So I change the baby and nurse him I ask her how long he was crying. She said 30 minutes which is the longest he has ever cried. Then she goes on to tell me that the first time he cried he gave up after 40 minutes. Poor guy was starving and had a dirty diaper and she just let him cry. He got a bad rash on his lower body from her toels and wouldn't let me put him down the rest of the day when we got home. He held my hand the whole car ride and sniffle home.

I am secretly super upset still over these events. My boyfriend thinks I am being ridiculous. I just know that his parents can never be alone with the baby ever.