MIL

My SOs mother is a nice woman don't get me wrong. But the she does these crazy things and I don't know what to think. When I had the baby we all agreed that just me and him in the room, I have lost two babies at 18 weeks and delivery is such a personal scary and intense moment for me I didnt want anyone else there. When we lost my daughter people were in the room and I did not want to go that route again. After he was born she came in super fast. She made it sound like she walked by and heard him cry and came in. When we asked her to tell everyone so they could come in she refused and obsessivly took pictures of his umbilical chord. We had to send a nurse. I found out later from my mom that she was  recording his birth on her phone outside the door. now labor for me is very personal I felt super violated not to mention she was showing everyone the reccording as prrof that she got to be there when no one else was allowed. She also kept trying to help be breastfeed and kept upsetting the baby. How the ef can someone help you? She was literally grabbing my bood and trying to push the baby into it.  I had to ask her to leave multiple times and the nurse had to make her leave a few times because she would not listen.

 So then Her husband and her come and visit for the first week. Where she literally holds him like a rag doll she's got him on her knee on his tummy sitting by himself on the couch falling over I was constantly getting him from her. So then her husband makes a video of his first week and sends it to their whole family. When i was in labor they came in the room for maybe an hour. I thought her husband was taking photos nope the first part of the video is me breathing through contractions. I look terrible and i again felt super violated because he shared it with everyone. So i guess I'm just really upset still this might be my only birthing experience and all i can remember is these things. So my SO confronted her about a couple of them she falls to the floor sobbing. Then blames my mom for talking a lot in the waiting room. That's why she was lurking out there and if it wasnt for her we would not have any phtots of the lojack on his chord. There's 6 separate waiting rooms in that hospital. Then later tells me she's super mad at my SO because how dare he say what he said to her, so he told me to just leave it be. Apparently the crying freak outs were how she was his whole life its the end of any issue because they don't want to upset her.

Also i decided to cloth diaper when i was on bedrest in the hospital. I made it clear to not buy disposable because i didn't want us to be tempted. While baby was in the nicu they used disposable and he got the worst diaper rash. His dad has super super sensitive skin. So we get home and his parents are there. I go to put my coat away and in the top of the coat closet is a 250 pack of generic diapers. They bought them And stashed them there.i don't know why . i made them take them back which she was mad about.

So fast foreward to my birthday we drove up to see them. I was doing great trying not to be bitter about the labor. Birthdays are not a big deal to us so i didn't care. My SO and my son are allergic to fragrance and pollen dust mold and so on. When i get in there she has put 5 mini rose plants for my birthday in every room we use, the bathroom the bedroom everywhere. I brought bedding for the baby because he's allergic to the scent in their fabric softener. She is also allergic to all of these things she just takes a bunch of meds. So first they are mad that I switch the babies bedding cause this smells like a spring breeze. The baby was cluster feeding that weekend so every hour even though the night. At one point im exhausted so I  leave my SO with the baby. I should tell you now we do not cry it out he is a baby and i get him when he cries I tell them to come and get me when he's hungry or cries. So I expect to wake up in and hour I wake up and my SO is next to me he decided to take a nap as well. So I look at the clock and it has been three hours. My baby should have eaten 2 times and has at least 2 diaper changes. So I get up and I can hear him crying muffled. So I go to the other side of the house and she has him in her room with the door shut so I wouldn't hear him. I asked her why the hell didn't she get me she said because I was sleeping. I go to grab him he's naked from the waste down. I asked her again what happened. 2 hours before that he pooed and she didn't want to wake me to get a diaper. So she had been wrapping him in towels ...the towels that she uses her fabric softener on. 6 of them so far. So I change the baby and nurse him I ask her how long he was crying. She said 30 minutes which is the longest he has ever cried. Then she goes on to tell me that the first time he cried he gave up after 40 minutes. Poor guy was starving and had a dirty diaper and she just let him cry. He got a bad rash on his lower body from her toels and wouldn't let me put him down the rest of the day when we got home. He held my hand the whole car ride and sniffle home.

I am secretly super upset still over these events. My boyfriend thinks I am being ridiculous. I just know that his parents can never be alone with the baby ever.